African-American Wedding Style

 The bride takes the beautifully etched cake knife and her groom carefully places his hand over hers. Together, they slowly move the silver blade through a sumptuous confection of sugar guaranteed to make any mouth water. As they lovingly and playfully feed each other sweet morsels and crumbs, the crowd breathes a collective sigh and joyously applauds one of the most time-honored wedding traditions.

 This scene is reenacted thousands of times at wedding receptions worldwide. The cutting of the cake is one of the most eagerly anticipated highlights of any nuptial celebration and culturally inspired events are no exception to this rule! Wedding cakes have evolved over the years from a simple heaping of breads to the elaborate designs we see today.

 When you are planning your wedding, whether it is a "traditional" Western-styled wedding, one with a kiss of culture or an event that celebrates this rite of passage in the way of our ancestors from the Motherland, the cake plays a central role in the scheme of things. Choosing a cake is one of the more pleasurable parts of the wedding planning process and one that you and your fiance can deliciously enjoy together. But how do you decide which cake is right for you and the wedding you envision?

 Consider the type of wedding you are having. Is it traditional, culturally inspired or a total immersion into the culture of Africa? Will your celebration be held in the majesty of a cathedral with a five course meal to follow or are you and your beloved communing with nature, pledging your love for each other in the simple beauty of a garden and sharing the moments that follow with a few friends on a shady verandah? The theme or overall idea that you choose will greatly aid you in deciding upon the perfect cake.

 What makes your sweet tooth go into overdrive? Smooth, luscious, decadent milk chocolate icing over an even more sinfully delicious cocoa filling... or maybe the juicy ripeness of freshly prepared fruits, the zing and zest of lemon married with the lightness of real whipped cream. Whatever the notion, there is a cake out there for you! No longer are wedding cakes relegated to a simple yellow interior and a thick, overly sugared icing. These delightful works of art now show design and imagination in their swirls of color and incredible attention to detail. Cake artists use color and texture as a joint process to create a masterpiece for your special day. Look for confections decorated with gold and silver dragees (small gold or silver sugar balls used to decorate or accent cakes), sugared or real cowrie shells, the intricacy of Adinkra symbols or tropical and more traditional flowers fashioned from gum paste.

 And for the crowning touch? No more little people at the top of the cake! Today's brides and grooms of color are opting for fresh flowers, cascading from the top of the cake to fall in a graceful profusion at the base. For those of you who wish to carry a piece of history with you into your wedding, consider using the cake topper that graced the upper tier of your parent’s cake. If you want to have a more contemporary version of a bride and groom on your sweet treat, shop local artisans or specialty catalogues for porcelain cake toppers that reflect the beauty and grace of our people. These figurines are exquisitely crafted, depicting a modern day couple, attired in traditional African wedding garb or fashioned to resemble a couple who are dressed for the occasion in more contemporary Afrocentric attire.

 Don’t forget your cake table! Whether it is a lavishly decorated banquet round or a simple backyard picnic bench, how you dress this area is key to the overall look and design of your cake. If you have opted for a more Western-styled cake, then consider the formality or theme you have chosen for the reception. The use of linens and cloths similar to those that you are using for the dining and banquet tables will help you sustain the style you’ve created. Fresh flowers, candles and greenery all add to the delicate ambiance of an elegant cake table. For a more cultural or African-inspired wedding cake, fabrics such as those in your wedding attire and other decorations can figure quite well into the overall picture you are painting. Liberally sprinkle tiny cowrie shells and glittering ankh confetti across the brightly patterned fabric and use small sheaves of wheat highlighted with dried, fragrant flowers and thin strands of raffia to act as swags for the corners of the table.

 Instead of saving the top tier of your cake to eat on your first anniversary, ask your baker if they would give you a certificate, good for a single layer cake that you can share on that memorable occasion. Being able to revisit and enjoy the sweetness you shared on the day you became husband and wife is truly "the icing on the cake!"

The Hip Bride

 You have a style all your own. You've never followed the crowd. You love what you love. And what you love tends to be slightly off-center, slightly ahead of its time and entirely original.

 However you find your gown, it will seem somehow serendipitous. Walking past a vintage shop, you'll spot it on a dress form in the window. Or while casually flipping though a magazine. Or by wandering in a boutique on your lunch hour. However it happens, we're willing to bet it will feel like your dress found you.

We see you in a sleek sheath, à la Jean Harlow, a gardenia behind your ear and a diamond choker around your neck. We see you in a flirtatious beaded halter and white-on-white gingham ball gown, complete with white wrist gloves, white sunglasses and a white 1964 mustang convertible waiting to whisk you away. We see you perfectly poised in a chic satin pantsuit with glossy lapels, a glittering city at your feet. If anyone can pull it off, you can.

Make inspired choices with accessories. And remember that less is more. The baroque pearl pendant you splurged on last summer is perfect with the feather-trimmed mules you snapped up from an inexpensive import shop downtown. Or consider the chunky silver Mexican bracelet he gave you the weekend he proposed. Wear what you love, no matter what. It will work perfectly.

 Hip bride Lindsay Hoffman had really resisted the idea of wearing a veil on her wedding day to Jonathan James, thinking it old-fashioned and cumbersome. But tradition prevailed and she ended up with a soft and beautiful lace butterfly design that covered her face. During the ceremony, when the Justice of the Peace asked John to lift the veil, she caught his eyes glistening as if he were seeing her for the first time. After that, she was so glad she had chosen to wear the veil as part of a very symbolic and loving tradition

The Perfect Shoe

 Every bride feels like Cinderella. From the top of her head, to the tip of her toes. Of course, that includes her shoes. I don’t recommend glass slippers! Try something silk or satin instead.

 Heels make all the difference. Your legs look longer and leaner. Your walk becomes more feminine. Ladylike and sensuous, at once. Unless you really have a physical problem, do not consider walking down the aisle without them.

 How high? As high as you can bear. Though I am often a proponent of style over comfort, you do not want to greet your groom with a pained expression. If you can’t stand 3 or 4-inch killer heels, a sensible 2-inch heel will give you the right look, in addition to comfort.

 Think elegant and sleek. There are a hundred shades of white, dye silk or satin shoes to match your gown perfectly. Never leather. It’s just not dressy enough.

 Stick with something simple. “Several designers offer gorgeous, strappy platforms, with 2 1/2-inch heels,” advised Pattie Winkler, manager of Suky Rosan, a prominent bridal salon in suburban Philadelphia. “Platforms lift the bride, while making the shoe more comfortable. A beautiful, sexy look, perfect in every way.”

 The hottest look of the season is the slide. BE CAREFUL. Though very fashionable, this shoe is extremely difficult to walk in. Especially with stockings. You do not need to reach the altar, only to find you’ve left one shoe mid-aisle. Though very Cinderella, this only works in storybooks.

 The thong slide, new this year, is also tough to wear. It makes that click-click sound when you walk, and you can’t possibly wear stockings. Unless your legs are perfect - and I mean perfect - do not even consider going without stockings. They give you a smooth, polished look bare legs never will.

 If you insist on this new style, my suggestion is: cheat. Buy two pairs of shoes. Wear a plain pump down the aisle and slides for the reception. Same advice if you fear high heels. Wear them for the ceremony, change into something more comfortable for the celebration.

 What about beaded or appliqued pumps? Like their gowns, Badgley Mischka has a delicate beaded shoe that’s to die for. Unless you go for this expensive, but very well-made shoe, again BE CAREFUL. Beading and appliques catch on your gown. That’s about the last thing you want. If in doubt, leave it out. Or try a wonderfully embroidered shoe instead.

 At the Wedding Salon of Manhasset, a renowned bridal shop in Long Island, New York, owner Nancy Aucone advises: “Keeping the height of the groom in mind, platform styles with straps are ideal. Young, sexy, and comfortable. You must invest in good shoes -- you are going to wear them, dance in them, for hours and hours. Remember, they can always be dyed after the wedding.”

 What is the right shoe for a beach wedding? Heels are so important, manufacturers now make high-heeled sneakers. A great idea. No one will see them under your dress, and you will have the height and stance you need to carry a fabulous gown.

 Fashion and function. Two words often at odds when it comes to shoes. Yet brides demand both on their wedding day. Bring home two pair that work with your dress. Practice walking. Try dancing. Wear them no less than four hours. Then wear the pair that feels best.

 Picture famous bridal photos. Jackie Kennedy. Princess Diana. Grace Kelly. Those images immediately spring to mind. Now picture their shoes. You can’t, can you? Keep that in mind as you shop.

 Silk. Satin. Sandals. Pumps. Two-inch heels. Four-inch heels. Elegant. Feminine. Comfortable. On this day of days, it is completely appropriate to pretend you’re Cinderella. Just save the glass slippers for your honeymoon.

Handbags To Have And To Hold

The rule: brides do not carry handbags. The dilemma: what to do with your lipstick and compact. The solution: something small, something pretty, something practical.

From a fashion viewpoint, there is no such thing as a "bridal handbag." Instead, top bridal shops carry what is called a "table bag," meaning it stays on the bride's table, and is carried up and back to the ladies' room only. Many locales include a bridal room; if yours does, this is where your bag belongs. Something understated, elegant, and refined will work. Stay with white or ivory, rhinestones seem a bit glitzy. Keep in mind the focal point is your gown. You absolutely do not want anyone's attention on anything other than that exquisite creation.

The perfect choice becomes a little envelope or pouch in the fabric of your dress. A small matte gold, silver, or mother-of-pearl evening clutch seems right too. Another option is a pearl pyramid-shaped bag, with a silk cord handle. These bags are not costly.

 Conversely, this is definitely the area for both bridesmaids and mothers of the bride to go all out. Again, members of the bridal party never carry handbags down the aisle. As a result, at the reception, a beautiful bag is a wonderful way to make your outfit your own.

 For mothers of the bride or groom in particular, this may be the optimum occasion to treat yourself to that handbag you've always wanted. A dear friend of mine eyed a costly evening bag for quite some time, but always felt it was too extravagant. Her son's wedding provided the perfect occasion for such a splurge. She completely enjoyed carrying it that evening, and now revels in the delicious memories as she continues to enjoy her luxurious indulgence again and again.


 This season, fashion makes it easier than ever to create that special feeling. Gorgeous embellished, embroidered, encrusted handbags are everywhere. Dressy. Colorful. Textured. Fun. Fabulous. So beautiful, they look like art. No need to feel guilty if you go a bit overboard. After the wedding, you'll carry it everywhere with everything. The more outstanding, the more it goes with.





 Of course, some of the best bags come from top designers. Do not fret. Hard-to-tell copies come in every style, at every price point. Be creative. Trust me, you've never had so much fun shopping. What's more, you cannot have a bad time carrying something this gorgeous. Think stunning. Think smashing. Think cool. Think hip. Think how you'll enjoy every compliment.

 Handbags. Understated and elegant to splendid and luxurious. Happy shopping! Relish every magnificent minute.

Summer Wedding

Lots of little girls dream of being married on the beach, on a mountaintop or in a meadow. As summer arrives, exotic outdoor locations become extremely popular. Lots of brides insist on seeing those little girl dreams come true.

 Whether you are the bride, a bridesmaid, a mother, the groom or a guest, the eternal question becomes: What will I wear? We'll begin with the bride. "Right now, the hottest gown is bias-cut, with crisscross straps. It's as sexy as they come," remarked Nancy Aucone, owner of The Wedding Salon of Manhasset, and a bridal expert for 25 years. "I'm also selling lots of very simple, strapless bridal gowns. Bermuda weddings, Vineyard weddings, Hampton weddings, Hawaiian weddings. The look is plain, plain, plain."

 Unless you are actually in the sand, white silk organza is a gorgeous choice. A little newer than tulle, this fabric offers that airy, island, beach feel. Crunchy lighter-than-air tissue taffeta works well, too. Close your eyes and picture the Estée Lauder "Beautiful" perfume ads, with bride Elizabeth Hurley running through fields, the breeze gently blowing her dress. That's the look.

 Keep it light. That includes your veil. A long veil is fine, just be certain it won't drag on grass or sand. Look for airy, not pouffy. Try a style called angel wings, which falls back, rather than full around your face. Hair jewelry may work better than a traditional headpiece.

Wedding 911: The Emergency Beauty Kit

There is nothing quite like the building anticipation as you prepare for your big day. All the months of detailed planning are now behind you as you put on your wedding gown and prepare to walk down that long-awaited aisle.

 There are several things to consider as you prepare for this special day, as minor emergencies may arise. If they do, don’t worry -- you will be able to handle them with style and grace. Just be sure to carry (or have your bridesmaid do it for you) several items in a purse or bag in case any of these slight misfortunes arise. Some possibilities to consider…

Imagine breaking a nail just before the ceremony. It won’t be a problem if you are sure to pack an emery board for a quick file. It would be terrible to stab your groom’s hand with a sharp nail, or inadvertently snag your stockings or veil!


If you are planning to have a manicure with colored polish, bring a bottle for last-minute touchups - but don’t open it anywhere near your dress! (Unlucky brides have accidentally spilled nail polish down the front of their gowns - talk about a nightmare!).

One of the more common emergency "disasters" would be discovering a run in a pair of nylons just before going to the ceremony. A bottle of clear nail polish is the perfect solution. Just dab a little on the run (especially at the beginning and end of the run) to prevent the stocking from tearing any further.

Another good idea may be to purchase two pairs of pantyhose in case something like this happens. Sometimes the tear may be too large to repair with the clear nail polish and it may be just as easy to replace the entire pair.

You may ask your bridesmaids to carry some extra safety pins to help bustling up a train.

Consider having a needle and thread handy in case some beading or sequins become undone. Save time and trouble by pre-threading a needle with thread that matches your gown. It might be difficult to do in the moment, if your hands are shaking from nervousness!

Band-Aids are always a smart idea to have on hand in case of a small cut. Try to find a Band-Aid that matches your skin tone as closely as possible in case the cut is in a visible area.

Sometimes if a cut is small enough, you may not even need a Band-Aid. A quick blotting with a handy tissue may just do the trick for you.

There’s always the chance that you’ll break the heel of a shoe. There is really not much to do if this does happen. You could try to tack it back on, but you may regret it, as the heel is likely to fall off again later in the day. The best suggestion would be to just wear it like a flat shoe, and most likely no one will even notice! If your bridesmaids are wearing a light color and one has a shoe size close to yours, she’ll probably gladly swap with you. Even if the match isn’t perfect, it’ll get you through the day, since guests aren’t likely to see your feet much under that long gown. Or follow Julia Roberts’ lead and just go barefoot.


Everyone has good and bad hair days and we all hope our wedding day will be a good one, but sometimes this is just not the case. If you have curly hair, keep a small bottle of hair gel in your purse to administer to those annoying frizz flare ups. If your hair seems too flat, try a small bottle of hairspray to add some volume and style. And consider having a few extra bobby pins or clips available, in case you need a quick fix for your hair.

If stress gives you a nervous stomach, be sure to bring along some antacid tablets.

Make sure your smile is bright and your breath fresh. Bring along a travel size tooth brush, tooth paste, and some breath mints.

Many brides are too busy to eat, and can get lightheaded. Consider tucking a few crackers or cookies in a small plastic bag in case you feel faint. And a small bottle of water -- not juice, which could spill and color your dress.

If you aren’t planning on having your regular purse with you, be sure to have some cash, coins for a phone call, and your i.d. with you -- just in case.

Consider tossing in a few things that you don’t think you’ll need, but might: glue; some paper clips (great for securing stray flowers, etc.); double-sided or toupee tape for instant hemming; a few individually wrapped moist towelettes to clean up your hands when water isn’t handy; a lint brush; some aspirin.